Singleness - A Blessing or A Curse?

Anyone else tired of family gatherings and constantly being asked “soooo…when are you getting married?” “Are you dating anyone? NO!!! Why not?” Or my fave statement of all time “you know your eggs are getting older sooo….

Ugh! With so much pressure surrounding dating, getting married, starting a family, no wonder why people view singleness as a curse! (Disclaimer - I blame my Caribbean upbringing and being raised by a single mother who ordered me to focus on my education and that boys will come later on. Soooo I did just that…focused on my education buuuuuuut no boys)! 

Are we afraid of being single? Are we afraid to have to deal with just ourselves everyday so we long for a partner to distract us from the battles within? Are we afraid  that if we’re single that means something is wrong with us? 

Singleness is a necessary evil! And I’m here to tell you why!

  1. We need to be single to learn and discover who we are without the opinions and input of someone else. By not knowing who we are we open ourselves to conform to someone else’s idea of who they think we should be and not who God designed us to be. We need to take the time as a single to learn who we are before someone else defines us.

  2. We need to be single in order to learn how to love ourselves. Singleness is the perfect time to heal from past pain, abuse, hurts, failed relationships while learning how to forgive, embrace, encourage, appreciate, and care for ourselves. In a relationship you need to do just - forgive, embrace, encourage, appreciate, and care for someone else. If you can’t extend those qualities towards yourself how do you expect to all of a sudden exhibit those qualities towards someone else.

  3. We need to be single in order to know what loving ourself looks like to understand the type of love that we deserve. By loving ourself, we set the bar and standard so that anyone else that tries to date us have to rise to our level. If we would never talk down to, abuse, cheat on, or hurt ourselves then we won’t accept that behavior from someone else.

We need to be single so that do not settle for just anyone that comes our way and shows interest. Because we’ve embraced our time as a single we will not rush into a relationship because of fear. Fear of not having photos to post on IG… Fear of getting older and still being single… Fear of not being able to have kids one day… Fear of being lonely… Fear causes us to make careless decisions. You don’t want to enter a relationship because of fear…those don’t tend to end well (look at the rate of divorce in the US). 

WQpDGaCEQm+PCyOOPQkj2g.jpg

So embrace this season of singleness! No honestly…EMBRACE it! ENJOY it! LOVE it! Because one day you won’t be single! It’s just a season…a temporary status! 

XoXo

~ Happily Single

Coat (Old) - River Island

Necklace - Aldo

Pants (Sold Out) - Grassfields but shop similar style https://www.grass-fields.com/collections/african-print-pants

Hair - Finger Comber - https://fingercomber.com/product/kinky-kurl-out-ls-unit/